All dressed in white, a bride is escorted by her father down the aisle. Her new husband locks eyes on her in that dress for the first time and tears up as they exchange vows. Everything is beautiful, but you’ve seen this wedding and many other weddings like this before. Wedding traditions can be special, but if you’re the kind of bride that wants to really shake things up and wow then consider a few alternatives to the following traditions.
Wed in White
Wearing a white wedding dress may seem like an age-old tradition, but the custom has only been around since 1840 when Queen Victoria set the trend after she wore white for her marriage to Prince Albert. So what dresses did brides wear back in the day? Just about any color imaginable in order to show off the wealth of their family. There were rhymes about the wedding dress colors such as “marry in green ashamed to be seen” or “marry in blue lover be true.” Go ahead and break from Victoria’s white tradition and honor the tradition of the colored gown, we give you full permission! White has the tendency to make many women look washed out, so if it doesn’t suit you, don’t be afraid to wear blush or champagne or be the bombshell bride in blue!
On Your Arm & Down the Altar
In ancient times fathers literally gave away their daughters because they were considered the father’s property. Marriages were often arranged and used by fathers as exchanges for land or livestock. In 2013 brides won’t be taken seriously as an appropriate wager for a goat and don’t need to be given away, but it is the idea that the bride’s family is giving their blessing to the marriage that is important. The father is the one representing this blessing as the leader of the house. But if you’re father isn’t available to walk you down the aisle, don’t worry there are probably plenty of other family members ready to lead you down the aisle. Your mother, stepfather, brother, sister, cousin, or friend will be happy to head down that aisle with you. If you don’t feel you need anyone to walk you down, you can rock the moment and go down solo because you’re an independent woman.
The First Look Debate
One tradition rooted in superstition is the idea of the bride and groom not seeing one another until the ceremony. This goes back to the arranged marriage agreement between the father of the bride and the hopeful groom. The bride would be veiled until she reached the alter and the groom removed the veil to see who it was he had bargained for and there would be no way for the groom to get out of the “transaction” if the bride wasn’t to the grooms liking. It’s all very silly, but the suspense is what keeps the tradition alive. Lately, there’s been a huge trend for the “the first look,” in which the bride and groom meet before the ceremony with the photographer. My fiancé and I are still debating over whether to partake in the first look. He’s a traditionalist and wants to be surprised when I come down the aisle and I’m looking for a great photo opportunity of a truly personal and emotional moment between the two of us. One way to look at it is that the wedding day, as beautiful and sacred as it is, can be a source of stress and anxiety. Who makes you feel better in those moments? Chances are it’s the person standing at the other end of the aisle.
Personalized or Preset Vows?
Wedding vows are the verbal contract of commitment between the bride and groom. The traditional vow is “I, Shannon, take you, Gerred, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.” Every religion will have a different version of the wedding vows that are used to acknowledge this bond between two people. For couples that wish to have a non-religious wedding or just want to be creative, writing your own vows may be the choice for you. When writing your vows think of what it is you are promising one another. What is important specifically to your relationship? The more personal these vows are the more meaningful they will be to the both of you.
The Kissing Game
Many guests will partake in the tradition of clicking glasses at the reception in order to get the bride and groom to kiss. The clinking noise is believed to ward off the evil spirits and leave the newlyweds in peace. However, the sound of a million clinking glasses is far from serene, especially when someone accidently breaks a glass. At my brother and sister-in-law’s wedding they chose to have the guests play a game in order to get them to kiss. Groups of two would get up in front of the sweetheart table and perform a kiss that they would then have to mimic. There were butterfly kisses, choreographed kisses, and the best one of the entire night was when a father kissed his baby on the head and tossed her into the air. The game had everyone involved, laughing, and in a party mood.
So whether you choose to honor age-old tradition or go with a unique alternative, know that these choices should be an agreement between both you and your fiancé. By discussing traditions and their alternatives you’ll discover what values you as a couple stand for in your wedding and marriage.
