We have the pleasure of having the wonderful Lucie Jones join us with her bride to be diaries. Lucie first found fame during her X-Factor stint, becoming an immediate favourite of us all. She can now add treading the boards as Elle Woods in Curves Award Winning and wonderfully pink ‘Legally Blonde’.
Not only has she managed all this, and more, but she recently got engaged and is fabulously sharing her wedding planning stories with us.
So, without further ado, I shall hand over to the lovely Lucie who is telling us all about how to handle all those questions!!
Introducing Lucie: Handling all those questions!
WE’RE ENGAGED!
You’re probably here because you just got engaged and are starting to plan your wedding. So first of all, CONGRATULATIONS! As a recently engaged and wedding obsessed new bride to be myself, I totally share your excitement. Since November 21st 2015 I have been floating around happily accepting the free champagne and well wishes that come with our big news. However, with these well wishes come… (dun dun duuun) THE QUESTIONS! Oh the questions. Not only questions from our nearest and dearest but from the mail mans daughters brother in law who seems to have an invested interest in our upcoming nuptials.
It’s not only the questions that I have found a constant source of intrigue, but the opinions. Again the opinion of my primary school diner ladies’ next door neighbour may be one that she feels inclined to give but its not necessarily the one I feel compelled to take. “What venue have you picked?”… “Obviously you’ll be having a church ceremony, you’re not a tart”… “Go on, tell me you’ve picked your bridesmaids. I didn’t make the cut did I?”
And so I have started wondering, why do I feel guilty about having made decisions without consulting my entire Facebook networks opinion first? Of course my highly opinionated self quickly squashes said thoughts and continues browsing pinterest for the wonderful, the obscure and of course- the beautiful.
It is a time in our lives when people suddenly blow our relationship levels out of proportion. It isn’t selfish and it isn’t because they’re angling for an invite (OK- it might be a little bit about the invite thing). People see you happy and they want to be involved.
Everybody has their own stuff going on and sometimes it is nice to cling to someone else’s happiness in order to forget their own woes for a little while. We as the supposed happy shiny engaged ones must take said clingers under our wings and let them cling for a little while before politely finding the words to swat them away. “Your ideas are so great, thanks for your input!”- this is not good enough. Be strong my band of beautiful brides! “Thanks for your thoughts but my husband and I have already made most decisions”. There. Done. Swift, polite and they’ll think you’re a wedding planning goddess instead of the maniacal juggler you feel you are metaphorically turning in to.
Its a bit more difficult with your close pals and of course, the wedding parentals. I am very lucky in that my taste is very similar to my mum and my mother in law to be (shout out to both- you rock!). I have however seen friends weddings been totally taken over by bossy parents and opinionated friends and family members. Each case of this differs from the next so there is no blanket advice to give here. All I will say is this is YOUR and your intended’s day. These are people who you know very well. Find ways of having them involved but keeping them at arms length. Offer them the job of browsing for interesting invitation templates. Ask them to seek out the best value florists in the area of your wedding venue. Chances are, if they really are as keen as you thought, you will get them off your case AND get some great research done in the process.
So there’s no need to panic. You are not being selfish and rude by asking these “wedding pushers” to respectfully back off. Where there is a will there is almost always a way.
Share your ways of keeping monster mother in laws and unwanted snoopers at arms length below.
Thanks for reading Brides… may the love be with you!
LJ
x
We totally agree Lucie! Its a tricky one trying to keep your own ideas alive or a secret, when so many people are getting involved. When we ask our ‘Real Weddings’ brides, do they have any advice for future bride and grooms, they 90% of the time always answer with ‘its your day, do it your way regardless of what anyone else wants’. Its not mean, it IS your day!
