What started last year as a frank revelation from dubstep veteran Benga has turned into a landslide of honest confessions. Depression among DJs has become a critical topic in the 12 months since, with the likes of Blasterjaxx , Nicky Romero and deadmau5 all coming forward to reveal their own struggles. Proving there’s plenty still to talk about, dance site XLR8R has come forth with an account that is arguably the most revealing yet.
Reflective of how frank some of its sentiments are, the writer of the piece has chosen to remain anonymous, identified simply as “a well-known touring DJ who has been working the international circuit for over a decade,” who also has a significant discography of releases.
XLR8Rargues that while more and more DJs are coming forward to share their experiences, with documentaries and think pieces popping up regularly this year, real awareness and understanding is still lacking across both the electronic music scene and the wider population.
“For me, dance music and its culture have been a sanctuary, a home for an outsider who has never been interested in fitting into mainstream culture… and at times, frankly, a reason to continue living,” the anonymous DJ begins, asserting nonetheless that his profession is one that is heavily fraught with dangerous mental health pitfalls.
“Extreme sleep deprivation, mood-altering substance use and abuse, difficulty maintaining relationships, increased social media pressures, over-saturation of the market, long periods of isolation, and constant career instability: these are the topics that make up a large majority of conversations I have with fellow DJ friends,” he writes.
While trying to avoid the “DJs Complaining Effect” and acknowledging that his career working the international DJ circuit has allowed him to both see the world and achieve his dreams, he says his past attempts to broach the subject of depression have been met with hostility.
“Some seem to find it offensive that someone in my position would not only admit to suffering from this very real, clinically diagnosed disease, or worse yet, that the very lifestyle I have worked so hard to achieve could be contributing to it.”
He labels this as reflective of prevailing attitudes toward mental health and depression in the wider public arena, which mistakenly equates depression with situational sadness.
“Depression is an organic dysfunction of the brain that has no redeeming qualities. It keeps people in isolation, often fearful of ‘bothering’ others with their situation… and these processes are directly influenced by lifestyle,” he writes, pointing to the extreme sleep deprivation, social isolation and pressure on relationships back home as significant depression triggers.
In addition to “Post-Tour Depression”—an enigma he labels as “inexplicable considering that it is a return to regular sleep, good food, and social interaction”—the current tension between incessant touring and the pressure to release regular music is an additional stress that pushes many to drop out of DJing.
“For those of us that still hold on to a belief in the music as an art form, it can become an anxiety-inducing nightmare to sit in a studio, day after day, knowing that you’re [sic] very economic survival hinges on your ability to produce something that people will respond to favorably.”
Recounting his experience with an up-and-coming DJ who’d hit his limits early on after being on the road for a few weeks—he was missing his friends, his girlfriend had broken up with him, and he was suffering from extreme depression and performance—the author examines the real dilemma that presents itself for DJs facing the struggles of depression.
“In most cases (myself included), if you were given the opportunity to be in the sort of position that I am in, but were told that it would wreak havoc on your emotional and personal life, many would opt in, figuring the sacrifice was worth it. But, these are real sacrifices, of the very things that make life worth living. At the end of the day, without meaningful relationships and human connection, depression is a natural outcome.”
Check out “Real Talk: Depression” over at XLR8R to read the account in full.
